When I found out I was pregnant with Rosie It was the second time I had been pregnant….. I was shocked, it was unplanned – the dad and I weren’t together at the time due to his controlling and jealous nature. Would it work – could I be mother to this baby? Went back and forth, yes to no, excited to scared…… Lovers to haters, blaming and wanting to make the right decision. Together not together. Crying and planning. I was unsure but thought I might not get another chance and once I saw her on the scan and I felt her move inside me I knew I wanted to have her – my protective maternal instincts kicked in so decided to proceed. The pregnancy was uncomfortable for all of the above reasons and many more. I had planned a natural home birth but on the 15th day after the due date my baby decided was she coming out. After 20 hours of pain, being rushed to the hospital and an emergency C-Section Rosie was born. Unfortunately they had given so much spinal block I couldn’t hold her when she came out so our bonding didn’t take place until much later.
Mum had a couple of major secrets that affected me, which I didn’t know about until my dad blurted them out in an argument! Trust and stability were extinguished in a down pour of emotions. Our relationship before that had been interesting I was her favourite and would often comfort her when she was unhappy which seemed to be a lot of the time. Through my 20’s we just grew apart me trying to make sense of the revelations which had been made – one really low point in my life became the turning point where I faced up to it all and accepted what was. Not long after this My baby was born and my mum was a huge strength and support to me. I have valued my mum so much more since becoming a mother myself and our relationship continues to grow with life’s ebb and flow.
Your Mother, You, Your Children
My mum plays a lovely caring part in my child’s life and has always been supportive; although our bond is not as strong as hers is with my sister, she will help me out if I ask. I don’t often ask her for or advice but I know she’s there. My relationship with my child is interesting, fierce, turbulent but ultimately very close and loving. There are traits of both myself and her father which are a delight and challenge in equal measures. Seeing your child grow into their own person is an honour and a wonder but hard when they make their mistakes. We give them roots to grow and wings to fly…. That’s the theory :-).